Sry I called you an 8
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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