What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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