dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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