If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
