I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
