I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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