Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
