there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to