margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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