don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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