i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
