There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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