porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
