don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
