I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
