Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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