Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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