What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
