So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
