We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
