I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
