I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she peed on how many people?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
