Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
