Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
