Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
