Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
