Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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