I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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