it was like his penis was on wheels.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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