Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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