To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
