Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
