Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
