pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
