hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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