I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
