just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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