The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
