Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
