so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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