I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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