I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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