The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
