Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
