Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
