Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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