I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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