You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
