I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
