i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
