you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
