Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
