When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
