My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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