if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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