We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
