Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
