I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
