Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
