he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my liver is dry heaving
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
